AsQwed Alternatives
by ghosteye99
Summary: Post-Endgame. One Christmas Eve, Admiral Janeway visits a Bajoran temple during a peacekeeping assignment on DS9 – hoping to find some peace regarding two decisions she made back in the Delta Quadrant - including one involving Q. Janeway - Sisko friendship, background J/C ship.


**Title: **AsQwed Alternatives

**Author: **Ghosteye99

**Rating:** T (PG 13 +). Contains adult references, and supernatural themes

**Theme:** Spiritual/drama/romance

**Word Count:** 5,000 words approximately.

**Characters/Pairings:** & B. Sisko (friendship); background J/C & implied past J/Kashyk and J/Q

**Summary: **Post-Endgame. One Christmas Eve, Admiral Janeway visits a Bajoran temple during a peacekeeping assignment on DS9 – hoping to find some peace regarding two decisions she made back in the Delta Quadrant. Especially one involving Q.

**Warning:** Mention of a character death, mention of (past) prostitution. I might have also taking some artistic liberties with how a Bajoran Orb Vision actually works (i.o.w, I haven't yet re-seen all the DS9 episodes).

**Disclaimer: **Characters and setting in this story belong to Paramount Pictures, not me. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any harm intended. This is a fanfiction, not Canon.

**AsQwed Alternatives**

**December 24****th ****2417, (Stardate 94979); Christmas Eve, 40 years after "Endgame":**

"Vedek _Ro?_" the Admiral asked. "Somehow, I never would have thought she'd be the type to choose such a path."

"Ro Laren has come a very long way since returning to Bajor," Colonel Kira replied, "Both personally, _and_ spiritually. I fully believe she may have finally found true peace in this calling."

Fleet Admiral Janeway ran her fingers through her now-white hair, and slowly shook her head in disbelief.

"I still can't picture it." She said. "Ro Laren. I admit; I didn't know much about her before the trial, but the impression I did get from her personnel records, and from my colleagues who knew her, was of a very ambitious, very worldly, and a very angry person. Not the kind who one would expect to would turn to a monastic life."

"And yet, she did." Kira said. "And she's also the one who pushed for you to get for permission to view the Orb."

"Then maybe I really do need to know those answers," Janeway replied - speaking mostly to herself.

Just then, Kira's workstation chimed. "Yes?" she replied.

"Docking security here," a male voice replied, "Vedek Ro has arrived."

"Acknowledged," Kira replied. "Escort her to my office."

"Yes, sir!"

"Looks like it's happening," Kira said to Janeway. "She's on her way now."

-o0o-

Before going down to Bajor, there were a few places on the station Janeway wanted to stop at, to buy some last-minute gifts for various friends and family. Like her, they wouldn't reach them exactly in time for Christmas, but they would still get there – it was one of those years where the thought would have to count for more than the timing.

More than forty years after the war, both Bajor and Cardassia were still struggling, though Bajor was now doing somewhat better. In the post-war chaos, two dangerously extremist factions had begun to gain power on both worlds. With their own military and police forces still inadequate, both Bajor and Cardassia's governments sent Starfleet a request for assistance in controlling them, before they caused a civil war to break out between the worlds.

Janeway had been called over to Deep Space Nine to sit in on a conference between the two governments, and then to report back to Starfleet Command, and await their decision. She would then inform Bajor and Cardassia of Starfleet's intentions, and coordinate their part of the peacekeeping effort. It was likely she would be several months on the station before she would have a chance to get back to earth. It also meant that - once again - her presents would reach her family long before she could.

As she and Vedek Ro walked through the Promenade, she noticed here and there replicated holly boughs, Christmas tinsel, baubles – once, even a Santa (Janeway thought the artist made his forehead and moustache look rather Klingon). One confectionary shop window had a decorated Christmas tree with a nativity scene underneath – though the holy couple were dressed in old 23rd century Starfleet uniforms. Mary also looked very Bajoran, Joseph seemed somewhat Vulcan, and the donkey resembled a long-eared version of one of Bajor's riding beasts. She couldn't quite see what they'd inadvertently made Baby Jesus into.

"I didn't expect to see Christmas still being observed so much here," she said to Ro, who replied with an ironic little chuckle.

"You can partly 'blame' Quark for that," Ro said, "A lot of the Human Starfleet personnel who stayed behind here after the war kept up the tradition, and I guess he could see a long-term profit in encouraging it. There's also the fact that the Prophet Sisko observed the holiday during his life among us," she added, more seriously, "so much of what you see is also out of respect for where he came from."

"Much like Christmas back on Earth," Janeway said, "A lot of it has become materialistic, but many still remember the meaning of it."

"And you buy these gifts," Ro observed, "as a token of the bonds you share with your family and friends."

"Yes," Janeway replied, sadly. "And sometimes, those tokens are all one's able to give."

"What do you mean?" Ro asked, quietly.

"After this consultation, I'll have diplomatic meetings scheduled for the rest of the day, the evening, and possibly all tomorrow. I don't know if this Christmas, I'll even get a chance to be with my family on subspace."

"And yet, you've given priority to viewing the orbs," Ro noted. Janeway lowered her eyes.

"I know," she replied, "but this is something I probably won't get another chance to do, and there are questions I have about some decisions I made … decisions that may have cost lives. I just want to know if I made enough of the right choices, not just for my peace of mind, Vedek … but if I did make a mistake, then maybe I'll be better able to advise others against doing the same thing wrong themselves."

"Many who request to see the Orbs are Starfleet Captains … or Admirals." Ro noted.

"And you?" Janeway asked the Vedek.

Ro nodded. "My own consultation led me to this path," she replied.

-o0o-

The garden outside the temple was peaceful, and Janeway spent the waiting time she had admiring the natural beauty of its layout, rather than meditating. In truth, she was quite nervous about facing the prophets – but the alternative, not knowing, was a burden she didn't want to carry any longer than she had to.

Many times, when they had the chance, she'd meditated with her husband over those matters. Always, her guide's answers were cryptic; enlightening, yes – once she worked out the riddles the gecko spoke in, but always more questions were raised than answers. It was a slow process; it was almost twenty years after homecoming before she found peace with her decision to destroy the Caretaker's array, and that was only one question. Chakotay helped her greatly in finding her answers, but now that he was gone - sooner than either had expected – she'd felt adrift in that journey.

She still needed answers, and she hoped the prophets would deign to be direct with her. Even though Janeway knew the emotion was futile, she wished Chakotay was still here.

She heard footsteps on the stepping stones that forded the shallow stream, and looked up to see Vedek Ro approaching.

"It's time," she said, extending a hand. "Come with me."

-o0o-

The sound of her heartbeat filled the room, and everything went red. There was a sudden flash, and she found herself walking through the grounds of Starfleet Academy. It was winter, and if she looked hard enough, she could see the shine and sparkle of Christmas decorations through some of the dormitory windows. Ahead, on the other side of a footbridge, she saw Boothby trimming a rosebush. Though it didn't have its flowers now, Janeway remembered that one well, from its position just by the ground-juniper. It was the one with the big, fragrant soft-pink flowers; one of her two favourites – she could never decide which she liked better, that or the one with the intense, velvety blood-red roses and the fresher, headier perfume. Boothby usually made sure there were some of both in the ones he sent her.

"Boothby!" she called. He looked up from his pruning. "The man you want's waiting for you down by the bamboo," he said. "You'd better hurry, Kathryn, if you don't want to miss him!"

"Thank you," she said – and picked up her pace as she sought out the place where Boothby said he'd be.

"I'm right here, Admiral."

A pair of strong, dark Human hands gently caught her by the shoulders, and then let her go. She looked up to see Captain Sisko standing at ease before her, in an old-style command-red uniform.

"Captain," she replied, in acknowledgment.

"You've come to see me about two decisions you made back in the Delta Quadrant." He stated. Janeway nodded.

"Yes."

"I can easily tell you about the first one," Sisko said. "Weighed against the sacrifices, the benefits of coming home _when_ you did … and the _way_ you did, cannot be dismissed."

"I'd also thought about it that way," Janeway replied. "That temporal incursion enabled both our selves to significantly weaken the power of the Borg in the Alpha Quadrant. That would have saved billions of lives. But back then, we were already on the way to developing the ability to control them. It would have only been a matter of time before someone else found that transwarp corridor, and worked out a way to close it."

"Then, what is your problem with it?" Sisko asked.

"The problem," she replied, "is that … I also can't stop thinking about the technology that we were developing, by ourselves, because of the Borg threat. Technology that may now may never be developed … because we no longer have the motivation to do so. The Borg kept us on our toes," she said, "and I fear that now that they've lost their claws, we will start getting too lazy."

"I doubt that," he replied. "You saved, as you said, billions of lives, as well as those of your crew who would have died in those extra years. Your other self left you with the technology to keep the Borg at bay, and along with that the scientific and technological contributions Seven is still making will, in time, save trillions more. And I haven't even gotten to the reformation work she is doing with Hugh's Collective. They may come to be powerful allies when this galaxy faces an even more dangerous threat."

"I suppose…" Janeway replied. She sighed. "You do have a point. But I couldn't help wondering if a lot of my other self's motives were more personal than that."

"Indeed they were," Sisko said, "she wanted to save Seven, she wanted to save Chakotay, and she wanted to save the rest of the crewmembers who would have died in those years. But she was intending to hit several birds with one stone. She had also suspected for many years that there was a Borg hub hidden in that nebula, and that by killing the Queen, she could somehow weaken them."

"Well, as things turned out, we weakened them a lot more than we'd planned," she noted.

"Though your former self's motives weren't always of the same brand of idealism as your's," Sisko said, "Between the two of you, your actions turned out for the greater good. You need to remember that the thorniest path isn't always the best one, Admiral. And Now," he continued, "that we've established the merit of you and your alternate self's actions forty years ago, I think it's time to look at your second question, the one about when Q offered you a chance to bring your crew directly home," he said, "a chance that you passed up, because it involved you making a very personal sacrifice. I know that event well. You wish to know whether you did the right thing back then, and for the right reasons."

"That is true," Janeway said. "In hindsight, I know that decision turned out to be one of the better ones I've made – had I not refused Q, had I ended the journey back then, many more of my crew could have been saved. But Seven would have become a Borg queen by now, and we wouldn't have had a Pathfinder project. Ambassador Neelix would be trying to fit in as a lone Talaxian on Earth, not working for the preservation of his own people, and keeping us informed on the Delta Quadrant. And that's just a few things."

"Then, I think the answer to your second question is pretty self-explanatory." Sisko replied.

Janeway sat down on a rock. "It's not the decision itself I've come to regret," she said, 'but the motive. I did do the right thing back then, I know that now. But were my reasons at the time right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Was I being selfish, in refusing to mate with Q, after he offered to take my crew home in exchange?"

"I think you were setting him a good example," Sisko replied.

"Maybe," she said, "and maybe I could also see, even back then, that his reasoning was wrong … and that I would have made a lot of trouble with the Q, for both him and myself, had I done what he wanted. But I was still a Starfleet captain, and I should have willingly taken on that trouble if it would have helped save more of the people under my command. And I remember what my feelings were at the time. He had offering a way home for my ship, and my crew. And I refused that, just because I didn't want him as a Husband. That is _not_ what a captain's priorities should be."

The prophet Sisko looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Are you sure that taking them home in that way would have been for the best … even for your crew?" he asked.

"I don't know," Janeway replied.

"Why didn't you consult with Chakotay over it?" he asked.

An old pain twisted in her gut when she heard that question.

"We didn't," she replied. "That one … was too painful for both of us, It reminded us of something that we … _I_ could never give him."

"A child." Sisko said.

"When I got that ... _infection_ …from Kashyk …" Janeway explained; her voice dead of emotion. "I thought the Doctor had cured it … but we realised later that he hadn't. By the time he discovered the cause of my infertility, I'd already passed it on to Chakotay. The doctor could cure _him_, but it was too late for me. I'd been infected for too long to be able to conceive, or even to safely carry a child."

"Knowing Chakotay," he said, "he wouldn't have sought alternatives."

"No," Janeway said, "he didn't."

"Yet, even out of that loss, much was gained." Sisko replied. "The Doctor made three life-saving advances in nanovirology from treating both you and Chakotay. And soon after, the two of you adopted three children who were orphaned by the fallout of the Dominion war. Three children of mixed Bajoran-Cardassain heritage, who would have had very little chance to flourish, had they stayed in their birthplace."

"Salim already has command of a small science ship, and Merok is doing well in Starfleet medical." Janeway agreed. "Though I wish Jesk would finally find some direction. He's almost thirty."

"Jesk is a visionary," Sisko said, "his work as a playwright, and an ambassador, will be extremely valuable. You and Chakotay still did the right thing to push him through Starfleet, though, even if he is yet to properly appreciate that. It will help him greatly in gaining diplomatic experience."

"But he'll never be a captain," Janeway noted.

"No, he won't," Sisko replied, "but that won't matter."

For a minute, the two stood in the dreamlike setting of the Starfleet Academy that they once knew. The winter breeze through the bamboo could be heard above the heavy rhythm of the background heartbeat. "You say your motives for refusing Q at the time were selfish, and unworthy of a starship captain," Sisko said. "I believe that there was more to your motives than merely that. I'm going to show you, in a clearer form, some things that you already knew intuitively at the time. Pay attention, Admiral."

In a flash, the world changed. Janeway knew the place; she had visited it so many times under Chakotay's guidance. Sitting down on the log among the sand dunes, she missed him more than ever. Sisko sat down on a rock nearby, and said; "Watch the beach." Janeway did as she was asked.

The first thing she saw was Neelix, carrying a tinsel-decorated picnic basket, and now looking quite old and haggard. There were people around him, of varying ages - all with the pointed ears of an Ocampa, and the spots and swept-back hair of a Talaxian. Most looked like they had also some human parentage; the youngest – a toddler – even had a perfect set of Bajoran nose-ridges, and his mothers eyebrows were upswept, like a Vulcan's. Janeway noticed Harry Kim in the crowd, and there was something in his eyes that told her of someone who, like Neelix, had also lost too many who were dear to him.

"A family picnic," Janeway said. "Is this what Neelix's life would be like, had Q brought him back to Earth with the others? …and Harry?"

"Harry is the great-grandfather of Josie Kim," Sisko explained, nodding to a grey-haired woman. "Like Neelix, he too has had to bury his wife, and several generations of his descendants, and like Neelix, he will do so again before the next year is over."

"The Ocampan lifespan gene," Janeway murmured.

"It is very strong," Sisko replied, "and it will take many generations before the descendants of Kes will be able to expect even a third of the life expectancy most Humans enjoy. Each generation away from the original Ocampan only gains, on average, about one year of extra life."

"That would be hard." She said.

"Harry has things a lot easier," he replied, "Neelix … is an outsider, on Earth. The only one of his kind, trapped far from his own people, and his own culture, and surrounded by a family whose lives slip by him like sand through his fingers. For someone who had already suffered such a great family loss as he, that is a grievous thing to live through. Much as he loved Kes, and loved the family she gave him."

"That is no life for him." Janeway said, "He deserves so much more than that. No … I would not want to take away from him what he has now, on his colony."

"Let me show you something else," Sisko said, and the family picnic vanished. Instead, she saw a group of people in prison uniform jogging in formation along the beach, flanked by armed Federation guards. With a little jolt, she could see Chakotay among them … and Chell. Two of her ex-Maquis crew. The only sign of Christmas was a tiny shred of tinsel blown in amongst the beach grass.

"I can't see Torres," she said. "Or Paris, or Ayala … or the others. Where are they?"

"They have been split up, and taken to different colonies." He replied. "The _Voyager_ Maquis had not been away long enough to earn sufficient merit … or sympathy … in the eyes of Starfleet and the Federation. They did not get the pardon that they received when they came home in your time."

Studying Chakotay again, Janeway noticed that, though his face was otherwise an emotionless mask, there was a dangerous look in his eyes – one that made her shiver unpleasantly. This was not the wise, steady rock of a man she'd known and loved in so many ways. This was a warrior just off the edge of going beserk; a man whose anger was rapidly consuming him.

"That is practically all that is left in his heart now," Sisko said, "that anger. Anger at the Cardassians, anger at the Federation … and, more than all of that, anger at _you_."

"Why _me?_" she asked him, though intuitively, she already knew the reason.

"In his eyes, you willingly betrayed yourself in the worst way possible," Sisko explained, "you betrayed yourself as a sentient person, even though it was already clear to you that Q's offer was both irrational and dangerous. It would have been a terrible mistake for you to have still sold your body out to him because _he_ thought it might stop the Q war, and had offering to pay for your services with an easy way home for the rest. _You__'d _already realised that, in fact, doing so would only make things much worse. And believe me, it would have – for you, your crew, the universe _and_ the Q. And Chakotay would have known your role in that … and he would have never forgiven you for going against your better judgement."

"I was the Captain… I had a duty …"

"…To set an example, and to first follow reason," Sisko cut in, "before considering any sacrifice, especially one that is tantamount to prostitution. Believe me, if it _was_ the case that you really _had_ to do compromise yourself …"

"… Like I had to do with Kashyk," she said, softly. "Q … I know now that I could have always talked him out of it. But not Kashyk. I knew that with _him_, I had little other choice."

"… Chakotay would have been there for you. Understood that you did what you had to do, however much he would have hated the circumstances that brought you to it."

Janeway just nodded. The business with the Devore inspector had always been a sore point in her and Chakotay's relationship – but not because he was angry with _her_, she'd soon found out. His anger was reserved for Kashyk, who had forced her into that position. Since knowing that, she had it had felt secure in his forgivingness of her – though it still hurt him to be reminded of it. She'd often wondered since how many other women Kashyk had likewise used, and tainted.

"What would have become of Chakotay … of the rest of the Maquis?" Janeway asked.

"They would have been split up, and organized into work gangs with the other Federation prisoners. Most of them would have been sent out to help evacuate and re-home the increasing number of homeworlds and colonies that were being devastated by the novas brought on by the Q wars. One of those novas," Sisko added, "would have soon be Sol itself. Then, not long after, Vulcan's sun would have gone. Do you think," he said, "that the Federation and Starfleet would have been able to survive such disruptions for long? And even if every starbase was fully shielded and moved a safe distance away from all stars, space itself would have become too unstable to survive in. You think an Omega Molecule is bad? They are mere candy sprinkles, compared to the damage that warring Q can inflict. 8472, the Borg and the Krenim themselves wouldn't have even existed long enough to pose the threat that they otherwise would."

"I think I realise it, now," Janeway said. "I did have serious misgivings about pairing with Q, beside not wanting to betray Mark … or Chakotay. And I will also admit that his offer to show me the universe was so tempting … _and_ when he said he wanted to give me a child …"

"Then I think it's now time to show you what would have happened, to _you_, had you accepted," Sisko said. "Look."

… And look, she did. Chakotay's prison gang was gone, but in its place were two people swaddled in heavy, hooded robes, one leading a small, pale beast that the other was riding on. "This would almost look like a nativity play," she said, "if that animal had any ears."

"What you are witnessing does has a superficial resemblance to the story of the Christmas Nativity," Sisko said, "but believe me, _this_ nativity would have been more a story of survival than a story of birth. This scene you see would have happened at Christmas, but the birth itself would not have been due for at least six more weeks… _if_ you had survived that long."

"That is me on that beast?" she asked.

"Correct," he replied.

As if on cue; the bundle of robes in the saddle called out; "Q, stop!" in a lowered voice. Janeway recognised it as her own.

The other pulled the animal to a halt. "What's wrong with you _now?_" Q's voice sneered from under the robe's hood. "The _brat's_ been kicking at your bladder again? You've discovered _another_ stretch mark? You need to duck off to _regurgitate?_" Q's tone did not have the playful arrogance she knew. She could detect much more contempt, and an edge of vicious desperation.

She watched her other self slide awkwardly off the beast, and hobble over to Q.

"_Shut up_, Q!" she hissed. "I think they might be here!"

"The Q? _Here?_ Already?" Q babbled, suddenly panicked. "Then we'd better hide! Quickly!"

Leaving his Janeway and the animal behind, Q bolted for the sand dunes, while she grabbed a bundle from the saddle, and then tried to keep up with him – but she was obviously in no state to run with much speed. "Q!" she pleaded, "please slow down for a moment, I can't keep up with you!"

"And why should _I_ care?" Q snarled, poking his head up from behind a bush.

"Because _I_ remembered to bring the weapons!" the other Janeway snapped, as she stumbled through the tall grass.

"Then hurry up!" Q whined, "They could be upon us any nanosecond now!"

"I could move a lot faster if you took these," she tersely replied.

"Can't you just try harder?"

"For someone who is seven months pregnant, and has been sitting all day in a Mukluth saddle, I think I'm doing my best," the other Janeway retorted, as she finally reached Q's hiding place. "Now you take this …" she pulled something out of the bundle that looked like a short, shiny brass rod, and handed it to him; "… and I'll use _this_ …" she took out something that looked like a tall copper cone, with a triangular hole half-way up it; "… now that I'm sure I've got something of the hang of it."

"Captain," Janeway asked Sisko, "Why isn't Q using his powers?"

"Because he hasn't any," He replied. "When you decided to let Q mate with you, the Q continuum responded by stripping him of his powers, and making him as mortal and human as yourself. They did the same to the child that you would have been carrying. And as you can see, the continuum had also outlawed all three of you, leaving you at the mercy of every renegade Q who wished to hunt you down and make you pay for the humiliation that, in their eyes, you and he inflicted upon their kind. And, as I mentioned earlier … your decision would not have ended the war, it would have only further angered the Q, and thereby intensified it."

Janeway felt sick at the realisation, especially when she'd remembered how badly tempted she had been at the time. There were moments during that whole debacle when she'd almost given in … and the only thing that had stopped her from saying 'Yes' during them was the thought of Mark, and Chakotay … and a nagging gut-sense of disaster if she did. Looking at what Sisko was showing her, she was very, very glad that she'd held firm.

"I think I've seen enough," she said, and Sisko nodded. Q, her other self and the beast vanished. Where they'd been was now only sea and sand – and beyond the sound of the surf, she could still detect the faint heartbeat of the vision.

"When I came to see you, I wanted to know what would have become of the crew," Janeway said, "but I think I can deduce from what you've shown me what their lives would have been like. Even the Starfleet ones."

"The Q war would have been one of the most devastating events in the history of the galaxy" Sisko replied. "By listening to your better senses, seeing through Q's foolishness, and using reason with him, you did not aggravate Q pride, and that enabled the war to end quickly. As you were reminded that day, merely because a being has power, does not mean that it also has wisdom. Or kindness, inner strength, or morality. Some of the greatest wisdom – and honour – that you will find in this galaxy will be found among the most vulnerable, and apparently primitive people. The Q are not the only omnipotent life forms in this galaxy. We prophets could have been like them, but long ago we embraced a more humble path."

"Thank you, Captain," she said, gratefully. "I now understand my motives with Q were not wholly selfish. In fact, it would have been more selfish of me to _have_ agreed, putting the needs of the crew of one ship … and certain desires of my own, over the welfare of billions out in the galaxy. I should have been able to work that out for myself, but …"

"… sometimes, one needs to hear it from someone else, before one can fully accept it." Sisko smiled. "I'm glad to have been of service. Now, I'm also aware that tomorrow is Christmas, and with this business between Bajor and Cardassia suddenly arising, you haven't had enough chance to post your presents away in time, let alone send your family a decent message."

"That's all part and parcel of a Starfleet Admiral's life," Janeway sighed.

"It doesn't always have to be," Spoke someone behind her. She knew that calm, familiar voice. She never thought she'd ever again hear it spoken directly.

"Chakotay … " Janeway turned around.

"I'll leave you two to it," Sisko said, standing up. "I've done some adjustment on the time-flow, so you can take as long as you want."

"Hours?" Janeway asked, softly. Chakotay … after all those years. It didn't feel real, yet he was here. Surely …

"Hours … days … months, years … _decades_, if you want …" Sisko replied as Chakotay nodded, and held out his hand to her. "You can have an interlude, or an adventure – it's all up to the two of you." The prophet continued, "Whatever time you take, Admiral, you'll still come out of the vision at the same time."

He smiled, and added; "So don't forget, if you do decide on the adventure, that when it's time to go home, you'll wake up in a temple on Bajor, and you'll have peacekeeping meetings to sit in on next. Though …" Sisko's smile took on a mischievous twist, "one of those meetings might be delayed a little, because a vital member may have indulged in a little too much springwine with his lunch. There is a good public Comm-booth near the building; you should have more than enough time to send some proper Christmas message to most of your friends and family."

"I won't forget," Janeway said. "And I won't let you," Chakotay answered. "Thank you," they said, to Sisko.

"My pleasure," he replied, "… and Merry Christmas. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some family of my own to visit."

And then, Sisko vanished, leaving Janeway and Chakotay alone together.

-o0o-

They stood together on the beach, the wind blowing through their hair as they held each other close. In the background, both could hear the heartbeat keeping its rhythm, reminding them of where they were … in a universe made possible by the Prophets, where even the barrier of death couldn't separate them. They both knew there was somehow more out there to this realm, but the time for exploration would come later. Right now, there were a few things to get used to again.

"I suppose I should see if I can make myself look a little younger for you," Janeway finally said, almost coyly.

"I think you've aged extremely well, Kathryn." Chakotay replied, "…though I think the Prophets won't mind if you make some adjustments to your _physical_ fitness, so you can keep up with me…"

"Are you considering the 'adventure' option as well?" Kathryn Janeway asked.

"I am." He answered.

"Decades?"

"Nothing less." He assured.

Then," she said, "That makes it the two of us. I rather like the thought of us having a few decades together, then coming back in time for lunch."

So do I," Chakotay replied, and she smiled when she noticed that there was an old, familiar glint in his eyes, a look that meant only one thing.

"So … what do you want to do first?" he asked, with a dimpled grin.

**- The End-**

**(And Wishing You All a Safe and Merry Christmas 2012)**

**A/N: **I wanted to write something like this for a while, after having read a few months ago (when I was just getting back into the fandom) some comments on "the Q and The Grey" where there was a strong opinion going around that KJ should have sold herself out to Q in order to get the ship home sooner. Having seen the episode, and reading a few good fics on it, I think that would have been a very bad idea for everyone if she had. So I wrote this, and (being Christmas) added a bit of tinsel, holly Christmas trees and nativity scenes. And a nice, death-defying J/C ending.

I also wanted to put the actions of current!KJ and the first Admiral under the ethical microscope (it's been a few years since I saw Endgame; I don't doubt the first Admiral didn't always have the clearest view of the big picture, but her younger self did set her more to right about that. She saw an opportunity in her older self's plans to protect her Quadrant, not just save her old flame & substitute daughter/the rest of her shipboard family and come home early. But before judging the first Admiral too severely, her younger self had not yet become so burnt out by all the upcoming tragedies, that she no longer had enough heart to see much beyond her immediate concerns i.e. just her ship).

For the stardate, I used the Star Trek Stardate Calculator.


End file.
